Last week I took a week-long personal vacation to Mexico. For reasons both by choice and by circumstance, I was off the grid. Absent from social media. Unplugged. 
The experience both reinforced and taught me a few things…
1) The social media world over-produces at lightning speed.
Not checking in on a daily basis left posts to pile up in my reader; thousands of tweets unseen; and memes, debacles and news about Kenneth Cole went by without my knowledge. On one hand, I want to soak up as much of this missed information as possible so that I can remain “in the know.” But, the reality is that most of last week’s social media news is now “old” and as much as I’d like to think I can catch up, the reality is that things will keep moving, and in order to stay afloat, I’ll move on, leaving most of it “unread.”
2. The “real world” moves pretty darn fast, too.
I was more than half way through my vacation before realizing that much of the country was suffering power outages, canceled flights, deathly car accidents and more from winter storms. And, internationally, news and events continued to unfold during the protests in Egypt. It was a poignant reminder that not only was I missing social media news, I was missing world news. And, I am very accustomed to getting this news from my social networks.
3. Going off the grid was much more difficult than I thought it’d be.
I had hoped that spotty (and potentially expensive) internet access would help keep me offline and present with my husband and traveling companions and soak up the sun. But…it didn’t take long before we had a WiFi password at the resort and I was logging on to clean out my inbox or to use email and Facebook to check in with the kids. Then, travel companions were bringing their iPads to the pool and I was longing for mine. Walking by (or stopping into) a cantina with free WiFi meant I could check in on Foursquare and maybe even post a random tweet from Mexico and my high was back. Longing? High? Seriously? Made me realize that I really have been a smartphone douchebag. And, while I faltered here and there (and, several of you called me on it) I think I did a pretty good job of staying away. And that brings me to my next lesson…
4. I really do miss you people!
While it makes little sense to the friends and family who don’t play in this space, the truth is, I’m connected to my social media network daily and when we’re separated, I miss you. Yeah, you. You with the coffee every morning. You who shares the best blog posts. You who makes me laugh. You with the links to breaking news. You with the song that will now be stuck in my head for the rest of the day. You who writes the posts that make my brain explode. There. I said it. I admit to missing you all. And, I think that’s ok.
5. Nothing. And I mean NOTHING compares to the relationships we have in real life.
I’m glad I went off the grid (or, 90% off, as it were). By placing that focus in real life, where it belonged, I was closer to the friends and family with whom I was vacationing, I conversed with others I’d never met, and my brain slowed down enough to truly relax and smell the roses (or, see the whales, sea lions and seals, which was amazing). As such, my relationship with all of these people (including myself) is stronger than it was a week ago. And, the biggest one? Coming home to my two kids. No one matters more than that. Before anything, I’m mom. And, that’s why I didn’t go back on the grid last night to write this post. You’ll get it during business hours.
Tell me…what have you learned when going off the grid?
Kary, I was unplugged for about 10 days in December while on vacation.
I missed nothing. Literally. We had such a blast everyday that I didn’t even think about the grid. And it was refreshing!
I have tried to start implementing “days off.” But it’s been tough sticking with it. 😉
Beth Harte
@bethharte
Isn’t it crazy how we’re conditioned to feel like there is so much that we’re missing? But you’re right…slow down, step back, and truth is, you didn’t miss a thing.
I’m growing more and more interested in the behavioral science behind all of this. I truly think that we’re going to have to figure out how to unplug and “be human” or our interpersonal skills will suffer.
Fascinating topic that I intend to explore. And, I look forward to hearing more from you and your “days off” as well!
Kary – loved this post. I’ve long been a fan of completely disconnecting when on vacation (and it doesn’t hurt when those vacations involve international destinations or remote, mountainous areas). But even then, the WiFi abounds (and how cool is it to be able to update a travel journal via posterous)? Anyway, I think you are right about the need to figure out how to unplug – not just on vacation, but each and every day. Would love more tips on that as you uncover them.
Hi Laurie,
I am glad this resonated with you. I give you props for being able to let go of it all on vacation. And yes, aside from just “wanting” to check in, all of this has become my way of life, so it did feel very odd to avoid travel updates and check-ins. From an anthropological standpoint, this is how I live my life. And, when I’m on vacation, I actually have “interesting” things to share other than the mundane. Still, i do think everyone needs to decide where the line between online and off intersects with personal time. Great discussions to be had on this topic for sure.
Even though your Facebook posts were pissing me off (oh sorry – can I swear here?!)…I missed you tons!
Honey, if you drop by, you can do whatever you want. (Especially if “pissing me off” is a Gini swear 🙂
On a more serious note though, you raise an interesting point. While one might think, “Cool – I can check in from Cabo!” or “I soo have to tweet that I’m sitting on the sand in the sun,” it could very well come across as douchey showboating to those who are busy with their daily lives. Sometimes, social media gives us too much of a glimpse into each others personal lives…and that’s a whole other discussion….!
Many thanks for stoping by. 🙂
Um. If I had been in your place, I would have been plastering everywhere that I was on vacation and you were not. So douchey showboating? I think not.
On a separate note, did you think Cabo was extraordinarily expensive? We were there a couple of years ago and, aside from Telluride, it was the most expensive place we’ve been.
Ack – please forgive me for this late response. I think there is a delay with my notifications and I just saw this now.
First – I’m happy to know you don’t think I’m a douchey showboater. (Even happier that we’ve now used that term several times in this thread 🙂
Second – yes…it was a bit spendy. We were traveling with a few other couples for a milestone birthday (I’ll omit the number to protect the innocent 🙂 so location and accommodations were not really my choice. We got the impression that their economy tanked when ours did, and prices were hiked up for tourists. Typically, when my husband and I do resorts, we like to go all-inclusive (did not do that this time). Not sure if it saves any money, but at least you don’t hold back on ordering things and you don’t see every dollar that goes out each day!
From time to time, I fall off the planet, which is never quite intentional (nothing I do seems to be). The paradox is how frustrating it is to come back online and have a ton of “catchup”, but also how I notice my “downtime” so little when I am actually in it. Possibly because it is unintended? I will have to make it a “date” sometime and them see what it is like.
Hi Wade,
One thing I realized is that while we feel this pressure to catch up, the truth is, there is so much over-production of content and “news” that if you didn’t read any of it from your time gone, you probably aren’t *really* missing anything. The major stuff, you’ll find out about one way or the other, and the rest is yesterday’s news. Gives one pause to consider what it is that we’re actually producing and doing here, doesn’t it?
Thanks for sharing. And I think it’s perfectly ok to miss people who, without Twitter, you would never have the pleasure of knowing. We kind of get the best of both worlds…reality and the somewhat virtual reality.
Hi Dina,
Yup. Totally agree. I’ve long defended virtual relationships. And, have realized the importance of not letting those connections interfere with friends and family we see everyday.
Thanks for stopping by!
[…] too connected at times. I’ve confessed to being a smartphone douchebag and made an effort to be more cognizant of my actions (why I considered this challenge in the first place). But I think we also need to accept that […]